When the mind decides to let go of the mind, it always holds on to
one thing.
When a person thinks, strongly enough, that they want to change/be
enlightened, the neurosis cooperates – but in a way that will not threaten
its existence too much.
We don’t like being uncomfortable.
So when a teacher is chosen, it is usually the neurosis that does the
choosing.
Example. If the person is not comfortable with sex, they will almost
certainly choose a teacher who does not support being sexual. Better
still, one that divides men and woman. Or even better, for a man, going
to an ashram that does not allow women to enter.
The teacher is chosen by projection – who the chooser thinks the teacher
is. The disciple chooses depending on what they think are the suitable
attributes of the teacher. Then, if the teacher does not live up to the
projected attributes, they can be rejected.
This way, there is no major threat to the neurosis.
If the teacher suggests something that is a major threat to the neurosis,
the teacher is obviously wrong, and not seeing clearly, and thus can be
rejected.
In most cases, in the guru/disciple relationship, it is the mind of the
disciple who is the Master. If this was not so, how is it that out of the
thousands of disciples, hardly any wake up!
When we we really want to wake up to the reality of ourselves,
unconditionally, we realise we are awake already. Always have been.
A key: honesty.
Absolute, unconditional honesty – first to ourselves, then, others.
And a sense of humour.