Hi Love,
You could see your depression as an allergy — something that just kicks
in sometimes. Try to get to see it from a distance and not take it too
seriously.Thinking about it makes it seem serious.
Nothing is bad — it just is.
I am not going to go into this too deeply. I have said it so often. When
people ask you what you want, ask them what they want. Most people do not
really know, and if they do they are usually not doing it. Who do you know
who is blissfully and uncomplainingly happy?
You may have hear this before: Nothing Works. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Whatever you do it will not bring fulfillment. Fulfillment has nothing to do
with what you are doing, or where you are doing it, or who you are doing it
with. Fulfillment is not generated from the outside.
Is it not what you do, it is the way you are with what you are doing. Just
be where you are, and be total. You think if you are doing something useful
you will be happy. Met any missionaries lately?
Just try it for one week — be where you are, doing what you are doing and
disconnect from any past, any future, or anything else your mind comes up with.
Sending lots of love… Paul