Sex is THE basic instinct. It cannot be denied — without unpleasant consequences.
If we were allowed to go through the natural process, without interference, at about the age of ten we would be attracted to the same sex. Following that we would have, what at first would be disturbing, then painfully powerful attraction towards woman — often older ones a first, then the young ones. We would be madly in love for ever — for a few days or weeks — and have a powerful urge to fuck. Breasts and buttocks drive us mad. If religion and the like kept out of the way this would mellow into something deeper and more mature. Then we would live with someone, for a while, then move on.
Eventually we would mature to the place where we would no longer need anyone — we would have gone beyond needing someone else to fill in the places we are not yet complete, and be complete in ourselves. And if we met someone else in that state, and we were attracted, something very rare would take place. Of course this is not accepted. It took us two hundred years to accept that the sun does not go around earth. And there are tribes, some of which I have spent time with, where this is natural. Some of the Masia; the Canobo Indians of Brazil. They are much, much happier than we are! And why not? — I have never got even part of a satisfactory answer.
Now the actual sex part. Through our conditioning we attempt to control everything with our minds — including our basic instincts. There are many studies to show that this erroneous. The first instinct is to fuck. This is natural and healthy. If this energy is followed automatically it becomes like any other addiction — we keep needing more and more — at least to the point where our energy can keep up. As with everything, if we are more aware, and present, such superficial sex becomes empty — even boring — we need something with more depth. The depth does not come from the other, it comes from deep within. If we are present with the sexual process we will find that there is much more to it than we have been experiencing. Eventually sex becomes irrelevant in itself — except as an expression of love. We have been trained to keep looking on the outside for happiness, and it is not there. We imagine that when we have more….
So it is very rare for someone to look on the inside — without denying the outer. When you are fulfilled you can be anywhere, in any situation, and be in a beatific state. Now because we have been programmed — by people who not happy, we tend to deny our feelings — to conform; because we feel guilty; because we will not be accepted by family, friends and society. If you are are accepted that way it means you are behaving more like a machine than a healthy human being. We all need to sit and tune in — what is our truth. What do we really want, where do we really want to be, who do we really want to be with — in this moment. Denial is expensive — it costs us not only our heath, but our vibrating soul. So the way to be free is to be absolutely honest – at least with yourself, and whatever the consequences, live your truth.
If you feel to, let me know your response and we can go from there.
Sending you love and support… Paul