Hi Love,
You say: ”When I had my reading with Kira in Finki, a lot of rage in relation to men and my sexual power came up. I sense this rage, I accept and let go when it comes up. Often it overwhelms me while being sexual. When I realize him starting to “work” on me (my body) – which usually is very soon – I cut of. Sexuality stays on the body level – I feel holding back my power and sexual energy. I feel fear of than being too “strong” for him. I feel the rage.”
This is a very important issue for you. For most women in fact. You see, you are creating your own reality — then blaming him for how you feel. You are not being true to yourself, or to him. If you were to be truthful then your relationship would, one way or another, change — and you don’t want to risk that. You want what you want and the way that you want it. By not telling him your truth you do not give him the opportunity to do anything about it. Then you complain and get resentful and say it is his fault. It isn’t. It isn’t anyone’s fault, but the way you are treating the matter has a consequence.
One approach would be to find someone to whom you are somewhat attracted and tell him you want to fully let go of your sexual energy with him— even if it includes rage. Then go for it.
Another way would be the opposite approach. Again, tell your partner you want to experiment, and you will guide the experience. Then be soft and gentle. As soon as you feel the energy getting strong, stop, and feel, and let the energy radiate out from your genitals throughout your whole body. Have to be alert though because when the energy reaches a certain point it wants to take over into a lower frequency of orgasm.
And you could try both! Have fun experimenting… paul