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The Dark Night of the Soul is a place where you realise that nothing works.
Transcript:
Here’s how I am seeing it at this moment. I don’t feel as though I have a mentor so I don’t have anybody I can actually go and check with, who’s been there and knows that next step, if there is a next step. I do have a psychic friend who tunes in, sees the possibilities, but as they haven’t been there, it is a psychic reading.
This is how I am seeing it. It does seem as though there is something else – other than the way we live our lives, the average person. And there are many, many, many levels, may be several billion levels of these levels of consciousness, of how people are living their lives, which means how they see their lives.
Now the overall feeling I get, which seems to line up with sages from the East, is: Nothing works! Nothing, except nothing! So anything you do doesn’t bring a deep satisfaction. Anything you ‘do’! You’re doing it!
And we ‘do’ things, it seems, in order to get away from feeling uncomfortable in the moment, which includes all our experiences of childhood, our situation in the moment which is not giving us what we want. And what we want is more. And we want more to get out of where we are.
Now this is what I am seeing and as I understand sages: it is elimination. Eliminating: This doesn’t work! This doesn’t work! This doesn’t work! And most people have to do it to find it doesn’t work. Some people can intuit it, feel it, but most people have to do things and see: this doesn’t work!
Now, what does ‘work’ mean? Well, I don’t really know, except fulfillment, a fullness filled. And there’s something else and that ‘something else’ is something that’s right there on the tip of my tongue. Right there! There’s something else. And it’s wonderful and ordinary.
Now, there seems to be a path. Zen says the pathless path. But there does seem to be a path. There does seem to be a progression. So we start off being amused by simple things and then they don’t work! So we play with our dolls and toy soldiers, they don’t work! And then we move into whatever we’re allowed to in sex, and it doesn’t work! And we move into relationships, and it doesn’t work! And we move into families, and it doesn’t work! And work doesn’t work! And money doesn’t work! And power doesn’t work! Nothing works!
And when it doesn’t work, if we’re intelligent, we move on. But what most people seem to come to is, what has been termed ‘The Dark Night of the Soul’. And that is coming to a place where… the realization: Nothing works! There is nowhere to go! There is nothing to do!
As again, they say in the East, “Everything is Maya.”, “Everything is an illusion.”
Everything is… we make it up. Science is saying that now: There is no color out there! There is no sound out there! And possibly, there is nothing out there! But we haven’t got there yet in science.
And so we’re coming back and back and back to ourselves. And the tradition is in Zen, first of all you blame your parents, then you blame this, and then you blame your guru, and then you blame God, and then suddenly there is a realization that they call the lion’s roar: There’s nobody to blame. I am responsible!
On the way, there are realizations. On the way, things are realized. They don’t work. They don’t bring that deep fulfillment but there’s a realization. Now, as I see the process, that realization can be shared and in the sharing something evolves on the inside. Often it is said, “We teach what we most need to learn.”
When we have a realization, for most people there is a completion, a satisfaction, an evolvement, a process of sharing that. Now some don’t. In Zen, when you reach The Dark Night of the Soul, when everything seems absolutely hopeless, when it seems you’re going to be in misery forever, they put you into a room, lock the door, and you sit there with it. You could meditate or do whatever you like but they are not going to let you out. That’s one branch of Zen that puts you in it and keeps you in it.
I think there’s a more, we could say, fun way but it doesn’t feel like fun way when you’re in it. And that is to go through what you are going through and share what you have to share because for every single person on this planet, except one, somebody has something to share with somebody that doesn’t have what they have. Everybody can share what they’ve got. But we’ve been brought up to think we can have everything like that (snaps). And we can, but not the way we go about it.
So the process is elimination, that’s the way I see. That doesn’t work! That doesn’t work! That doesn’t work! And then you come to this place: Nothing works! And then comes, “Well, is there anything else or am I in this state for the rest of eternity?” Because we’re told, it doesn’t even end after death. And yet some people reach a state. They go click and they’re in a different state. Fulfilled! They don’t need anything. They don’t even need to share. They don’t need anything.
Now, that state can come before fulfillment. But this is another state, click, and the indescribable: The Kingdom of God, The Tao, The Peace that Passeth all Understanding. And that has happened to people.
Now, has it happened to only a few people because only a few people can have that state? I don’t think so. And they say they don’t think so either. They say everybody -listen!- everybody is in that state. Not they are going to. They are in it and they are not realizing it. When a person wakes up, Zen says, they have a cup of tea: “Aha, I have been here all the time! This is it! But I was looking for something else. I thought it was something else and I was frustrated because I could not attain what I thought it was! And it’s not what I thought it was!”
In fact, thought can’t think what it is. It’s a state that’s indescribable. And as people who enter into this state say, “It’s there all the time! Its us that’s not there, not that that’s not there!”
Thou art that! The kingdom of God is within! This is it!
Now, the closer you get, the more frustrated you get. Because you’ve done this, you’ve done that, you’ve been here, you’ve been there. Doesn’t work! Doesn’t work! Doesn’t work! One process that can be more powerful is the Satori process because that winds you in, and in, and in, to yourself. And if you go deep enough, you may get that glimpse. And you may get a glimpse strong enough to give you enough energy to go on. You may not stay there but you click there.
And what is it? It’s being unconditionally where you are. It’s giving up: I can’t do it! That’s the thing. No, you can’t do it! It can’t be done! It’s being with what is just the way it is. If you’re angry, if you’re complaining, if you’re negative, if you’re against, you’re doing something, you’re reinforcing something!
And it’s understandable, it is very frustrating. You see people who you didn’t think would be there. And suddenly they pop into it. It’s when you accept where you are and that’s what Satori is in a way. Asking questions, asking questions, being asked a question, being asked a question, being asked… and then eventually you say, “I can’t do it!” That’s it! You give up! You give up! And there it is!
And then sometimes, usually happens, the mind comes in, “Oh, I’ve got it!” And as soon as you think you’ve got it, you’ve lost it! Because you can’t have it, it has you! And that’s when you are unconditional.
Krishnamurthy says, “Unconditional awareness!” Just being here, just as it is. And that includes your frustration. There’s nothing wrong with frustration. You’re frustrated! You’re frustrated! You can’t get what you want. “I can’t get what I want!” Just being with what is.
Plus, not being so locked up in your mind that you stop seeing what is there for you -you stop seeing that baby’s face, the wind and the trees, the songs of the bird. And if you get locked into that state and you stop seeing the outside, appreciating the outside, that’s the way it is. And as I am seeing at the moment, it is all -and this isn’t the correct word- progress. And the progress is not gaining, it’s elimination. Elimination of that idea! Elimination of… elimination of… letting things go… letting things go… and then being in the gap. Nothing! No hope! Realizing we’re hopeless! We can’t do it! Meditation does not do it! Sitting can take you and reinforce you into a non-doing place. But nothing does it, nothing does it, nothing does it! Being with what is!
And I am going to say one thing again. Take a look at sharing what you do have because you have something. All of you! Especially you, listening to this! All of you have something that billions of people don’t have. You have had insights. You wouldn’t be listening to this if you hadn’t. You’ve had insights and you can share that! And there is a fulfillment in sharing because to whom you’re sharing is not other than you. Not only Thou art That, thou art everything! And everything is you!
Here’s a little guided meditation to go with that. We’ve done it before. Try it out. Turn everything off. Sit on your own. Close or half close your eyes. Take some deep breaths. Breathe into your whole body. Let the breath go from your whole body for a few times. And just sit there.
Now almost certainly for most people, the mind gets stronger. It really buzzes now. The mind now has your total attention. You haven’t been listening to everything it’s been trying to say. Let the mind buzz. It brings up situations. Let it bring it up. Don’t do anything with it. Don’t think your thoughts. Let them come, let them go, let them come, let them go. And then listen. There are outside sounds. No matter where you are, there’s always a sound, even if it’s the sound of silence.
Now, in that state tune into your body.
It’s not a dead lump, is it?! Even though you’re sitting perfectly still it’s very alive! And if you check through your body from your toes up through your head you’ll find some parts are more alive than others. The parts that are not so alive, imagine you’re breathing into it. You breathe into that part and out of that part. And it might come online! It might get more alive! Listen, feel… Most of you will find that your body is very alive. It’s…-and there isn’t really a word- let’s call it ‘tingling’ inside. Again, stronger in some parts, not so strong in others. But eventually, it can get quite strong in the fingertips. If you allow it in the fingertips, you can feel it starting to spread. Don’t force it! You can’t make it happen. With the breathing and as you breathe out, it gets stronger. You breathe in, it goes a little less, you breathe out, it gets stronger. Tingling! Tingling!
Now, the tingling can feel stronger on the skin, on the outside. Just let it be there. And listen, you might have a sound inside as well. Might be high, might be low. Just listen. And let the sound merge with your tingling.
Now, at the surface of your skin, can you feel? It’s not just inside. The air around you is tingling as well. And it’s not just around you. All the air is tingling! And you’re part of that tingling and that tingling is part of you. The separation has got thinner. You might only just be in your body now. And that tingling is going all over the universe. Not only to people but everything alive. And not only everything alive, every single thing is tingling.
That’s what science is saying. Bring on a strong microscope, there’s another level of tingling, another level of tingling, another level, until no-thing, except the tingle. So nothing is tingling except the tingle. Energy! And you’re part of that and that’s part of you! Every single part of you!
So just sit and feel that for a while. This energy is hard to explain. And when I use this word now the mind goes somewhere where I am not meaning. But you see, in a way it is love! Universal love! And we’re not part of it, we are it! Separation is in the mind! We are that love and that love is us! And of course, it’s easy to forget when you go outside. So every now and again come back! And maybe listen to this part of the tape again, to remind you:
We’re part of everything, everything is part of us!
Let go of the word part!
One!
Now let go of the word one!