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Love is not what we think it is.
Transcript:
As I start this recording, I don’t know how it’s going to unfold. The theme came in the night. I didn’t record it then, and this morning I just have a vague sense of what it was about. The subject is as usual – love.
Everything’s about love, as far as I am concerned. Everything’s about love, but not the love that we … seem to think about. When we think about love, we think about two people or two things. And what I want to talk about is much bigger than that, much, much, much bigger. In fact, it’s so big, I don’t know how to talk about it. I don’t know how to think about it.
But we’ll start off like this, calling it seeing and being. So, the theme I remember from the night is about seeing … each other: seeing. Now of course, we see each other. Somebody’s in front of us.
Let’s take somebody who’s in front of us. When we see them, our brain, which is designed to do this, immediately accesses everything we know about this person. We don’t know it’s doing this. But what it’s doing is giving us an image of this person. I would imagine it’s from the cave days when we had to see whether this was a friend or a foe. And then the brain goes into a mode that tends to please the person, not disturb them – again a safety thing. I know I’m rambling.
What I want to try and see if I can get you [chuckles] to see, to see, go past the automatic part of the brain, and see this person in front of you, now, now. … Keep disconnecting from everything you think you know about them, because this person you have never seen before, ever, because everything is changing, everything.
Get an electron microscope and you’ll see it. Everything’s changing. Not only are they changing, not only they are a different person than you saw last time, but you are a different person than when you saw them last time. You are different. They are different. Everything is different. Every single thing is different. Even your table and your chair, they’re different, ’cause there’s movement in there as well. Different.
So, the first thing is, see this person. See them. Maybe, don’t even listen to what they’re saying. Look at them. If you really are in this moment and see them, you’ll start to see there’s a whole phenomenon happening in front of you. And the first part is what they present to you, what they’ve been programmed and trained to present to you. How they’re supposed to be, or the opposite of how they’re supposed to be, if they’re a rebel.
So, you see their behavior, their character. That isn’t who they are. That’s a tiny, tiny part of who they are, an insignificant part of who they are. You keep looking without concluding, without judging, without deciding. Judging and deciding will go on. That’s what the brain does: yes or no, right and wrong, good or bad. That’s what the brain does, but you let the brain do it and you keep looking at this person.
Now, what’s likely to happen is, you’ll see their behavior, … and just behind their behavior is something else, … often exactly the opposite of what they’re presenting. Some very quiet people are not quiet people at all on the next level. And some very loud people are not loud at all on the level just behind that. In fact, often it’s the opposite.
So, there’s a behavior-level and then it’s opposite. And that isn’t them either. Stay there. Just keep looking, just keep feeling. If you want to experiment, you could ask a friend just to sit there while you look at them. And you’ll have all those memories go by and everything goes by. And you keep looking and you’ll see just beyond, who they’re behaving, who they’re avoiding. Just beyond, you’ll see who they could be, their potential, their possibility, just behind there languishing, or in some cases screaming to get out. Stay there, because there’s something else.
Now the something else is, to me anyway, really impossible to describe, because it’s not just them. It’s as though the next layer blends in and it’s not separate, it includes. We could say it includes their parents and their brothers and sisters and the people who have taught them and advised them. We could say it includes that.
Include that and stay there and it goes into something else, what we’ve been calling “the something else” and it blends. And if you keep staying there, what you will feel is love. But not love like we normally talk about it, a little bit more like when you see a young baby, very young. It sees you and it smiles. And something melts inside, you melt … inside. It’s not just you and the baby; something is evoked in you, some primal sense of being with. So we go from seeing to being.
We’ll just talk about more about possibilities. It happens often in the Satori Group, you’re looking at this person and you start to, let’s say, forget yourself. You start to melt, they start to melt and there’s a blending between you. In the Satori Group and states where you feel high, often you melt into everything and everything melts into you.
I am calling it love, many people call it love. But I want to express again, it’s not that individual love of the lover loving something. In the East they call it, “The seer and the seeing being one.” when the seer and the seeing become one, … one, … one.
You see this person so totally, you melt. And to start with, it’s melting into each other, but then the melting gets much bigger than that. If you start to practice that, even if somebody is angry at you and shouting, you will register their shouting and you’ll feel it, because when they shout, they actually send out a vibration to you which resonates in your body, disturbs your body. But if you just stay there loose, and don’t reinforce any contraction in you. You stay soft. You let them shout. You feel your discomfort. You’ll see through their behavior. You’ll see through what they’re trying to cover up. You’ll see through into who they really are and you’ll feel love for them – everybody.
When you hear about a murderer being punished, you will feel for them. Not their act … but for them, who they are. What they’re going through, a lost-ness inside. And we all have that lost-ness. We all have everything inside.
And if you go soft and hear, you will resonate with that part in you, and it’ll be uncomfortable. But if you say yes to it, you will feel love … to everyone and everything.
So, what I suggest is, have it as a little practice. Spend a little time practicing, and it will repay you, repay you. And I mean that in all senses of word. You’ll be repaid, because every action does have an opposite and equal reaction. Everything does have a consequence. The more you feel love, the more you will feel loved.
And now, I want to add one more thing. This is very important. Start off with yourself. You don’t even need another person. You can put an empty chair in front of you and imagine you’re sitting there. Look at your behavior. What’s behind your behavior? Dare to look. There’s behavior, character, personality and behind there, and then behind there, you’ll see your potential. You’ll see who you really are, what’s your possibility.
If you don’t see it, it’s probably because you are holding on to, you don’t want to be greatly disturbed. You don’t want your life to be disrupted. But if you sit there just for a few minutes, you don’t have to do anything, you don’t even have to make any changes, just look.
And if you allow, you’ll see a very beautiful person in front of you. And you might have tears come to your eyes because you see what they’re doing to themselves. You see their beauty and at the same time, you see how they’re judging themselves. How they’re beating themselves up all the time. They won’t leave themselves alone. But if you keep looking, you’ll find that is not them. That is the people that programmed them. The people that said, “You should be like this and you shouldn’t be like that.” And they’ve adopted that voice and they’re doing it to themselves.
Keep looking. You’ll see past that conditioning. You’ll see this beautiful person. Everybody is that. “Thou … art … that.” And on that empty chair we are calling you, “Thou art that.” You’re that beauty. You’re that everything, in touch, one with everything, which we will call love.
You are loved … because you are love.