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The mind and its search for approval.
Transcript:
A question that often comes up, for people like you who are listening to this, is, “Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing?” I say ‘people like you listening to this’ because the majority of people don’t query their lives. For you listening to this that might be hard to understand but most people are so robotic, are so programmed, that they don’t think about their lives. They just live it. They just do what they’ve been told to do. And whatever is going on, whatever chaos is going on with them, they presume that’s what life is.
Now people like us, are going beyond that and we’re saying, “Is there more to life?” Is this they way life is supposed to be?” So we’re looking. But one of the difficulties of looking is, we’re very rarely here, now, doing what we’re doing. Where we are is in our minds saying, “Is this supposed to be what we’re doing?”
Part of that is to do with approval. In our childhood we needed approval in order to survive, and to avoid disapproval to keep out of trouble. So part of us, whether we know it or not, is always checking: Am I doing the right thing to get approval? And in that way, we’re very rarely here – now, just doing what we’re doing, because that’s what we want to be doing.
So most of the time we’re divided. We’re doing what we’re doing because we think we ought to, or we have to, and all the time the mind is saying something else. So it’s very rare that we’re here, now. When we are, there’s a sort of balance and harmony that happens – a sweetness. But when it happens, the funny thing is, we’re not very aware of ourselves, in this moment. It’s like we’ve, blended in; we’ve become part of the moment and there is a beautiful feeling that’s happening, but we’re not so clear and sharp about what it is because we’re not thinking about it. We’re being it. We’re in the moment.
The big example that can be used is when a great painting has been created. Usually the creator, is not thinking about what they’re doing; they’re just allowing the doing. And often the paintings that now sell for multimillions were not approved at that time – they were breaking the pattern. If they’d have thought: Am I going to get approved? Am I going to get exhibited? Am I going to sell my painting?, they’d have stayed in the old paradigm, and we wouldn’t have had this new breakthrough.
For these new breakthroughs, in order for us to expand and keep expanding our consciousness, we keep needing to let go of the past. And as we do, we’re not so likely to get approval from people who are afraid of disapproval, people who want to be safe and secure and predictable – which is basically boring. If we’re not expanding, if we’re not looking for new possibilities, we won’t be in the ‘Hidden harmony’.
Now it’s almost certain that there’s a vast amount of things happening in this moment, about which we’re not aware. It’s almost certain there are multiple realities. There are extraterrestrials. There probably are people trying to come through to us now, in this moment. And if we’re not experiencing that, in this moment, then it’s probably not appropriate.
So what is appropriate? This Very Moment.
Now that’s really hard to connect with ‘This very moment’ because the mind says “Well what is this very moment?”, and as soon as the mind says “What is this very moment?”, you’re in the mind, and not the moment. The moment is, just here now, being with, whatever is. Your mind might say, “Let’s make a cup of coffee”. Another part of the mind says, “But you’ve just had one”. Another part of the mind says, “You’re not supposed to drink that”, and so on and so on and so on in the mind.
Tune-in to this moment. Is it coffee? Or is it…? Or whatever it is, it is what it is, and it will be perfect unless you think about it. I know that’s easy to say, because the mind is always thinking – it’s designed always to think. It’s designed to take care of you, to keep you as safe and secure and predictable as possible, that’s what it’s designed to do, but it’s been programmed by people who are not happy-they don’t feel safe and secure and predictable. It’s been programmed, with a program, that doesn’t work.
So what does work? Nothing.
Nothing works. It’s not supposed to work. It’s supposed be. Your maximum potential is to be, in this moment – as totally, as completely, as you know how.
Now when I say, each moment, I’m not talking about your thought of what’s the next moment: How am I going to be in the next moment? Because that’s not the next moment. The next moment is now, you listening to this. And the next moment will be the next moment, the next footstep, the next movement, and the mind is not going to stop. The mind will keep on, and on.
Some people do have phases where the mind stops. Don’t look for that because you’ll start thinking about the mind stopping. And of course you can’t think about the mind stopping because when the mind stops you can’t think. So forget that.
The mind will continue. Let it continue. Just keep catching yourself as soon as you go into the mind, thinking -even thinking about you shouldn’t be thinking. Come back – to here, now. What can you hear? What can you see? What can you taste? What can you touch? Your senses – come back to your senses in this moment.
Let me go back again. Yes, there almost certainly is a huge amount going on in this moment about which you’re not aware. If you’re here, if you’re now, if you’re present, just being with what is, if anything’s appropriate, it will probably come through.
Just one more aspect. Complaint will take you away, gratitude will bring you here. The mind will always keep taking you away to complain, to say things could be better. I’m suggesting, don’t go there. Whether it’s right or wrong, or you should or shouldn’t – I’m suggesting, as an experiment: don’t go there.
Don’t go there. Be here now.
Now, in this moment, you’ll find there are things to be grateful about. You just went off – no – you just went into complaint again, you went into thinking… Come back here now, and see about which there is to be grateful. Here. Now. And be with this, and this, and this – and eventually you’ll start to get a sense of something. Now it’s not actually happiness. It’s not actually joy. It’s something that can’t actually be explained, but let’s call it fulfillment.
There’s something complete, about this very moment. But you see, the mind is still saying, “Ah but we should… or what about…?” or ”Have we taken care of….?”. Yes – that’s what the mind’s saying. And you, let it say it, and come back, and be here now. This Now. This very one. Right now. Just be here.
And if you just connect with that – the mind’s there again,come back, come back – if you just connect with that, you might find there’s a sort of tingling going on, inside.
The body is actually vibrating, inside. And you can feel it in the body, it goes out of the finger tips, and down to the toes. It’s tingling. And you’ll find the tingling is on the skin. Oh, it’s doesn’t end at the skin. The same tingling is around the skin. It’s in the air. And when you look at the chair, or the tree, – that’s tingling as well. Everything is tingling. Everything and everybody, is tingling. It’s sweetness. It’s a gentleness. It embraces us all. For we are that, and that is us.
In all the turmoil in our lives, whatever’s going on, this tingling is there – this embracing is there. It can be called…love. Not our normal use of the word ‘love’. But some order of inclusion, and it’s there all the time, if you disconnect from the mind – approval and disapproval, should I, shouldn’t I?, right or wrong, good or bad” – if you disconnect from that, into this very moment. Now. Ah…perfect.
You are perfect. Just as you are. Until you think.
Come back to now. Just as you are…perfect.