Greetings,
Your addiction to your partner…
When you base your feeling of happiness on something outside of yourself it does not work — you will never feel fully fulfilled.
Your feeling of well-being is dependent on something that is not under your control.
If they were to die, or leave, you would have a choice: curl up and be depressed; find another partner with whom to depend
upon for happiness; be with yourself and feel what you are feeling.
If you look to the past, or the future, you are not here. The depth of the state of well-being is in this moment. Only this moment. If you look back you are not here; if you look forward you are not here. Life/living is here now. Now. Missing something is not here; looking forward to something is not here.
And there is only here. Missing something equals not being here; Looking forward to something equals not being here.
When your partner is not there, be where you are, in each moment.
When the mind goes one nanosecond to the past, or future, you will not be here now, and you will feel missing. Be in each moment — just each moment, and be with how it is, or take responsibility, and change it. Either be here, and feel what you are feeling, or go there, but not here complaining about not being there. Be responsible. If you have decided to be where you are, and your partner is not there (or even if they are not there) just be with who you are, in that very moment. Do not listen to the addictive process of the mind. Be where you are, exactly as you are. If you are away, and missing them, and you have decided to stay away, just feel exactly what you are feeling, and accept it. Don’t complain — it is not intelligent.
In the film “What the Bleep” one scientist keeps saying that when you look at an object, say, a chair, a certain part of the brain is activated. If you are blindfolded and asked to think of the chair, the same part of the brain is activated in exactly the same way. So when we look — do we see a chair, or our brain activation?
With much love and support… Paul