Greetings,
There are so many levels from which to answer your questions. Every level has its own reality.
At a ‘higher’ level, relating to the source, or god, or whatever you choose to label it, is not possible.
There is only source: ‘Thou art that.’ ‘The kingdom of god is within.’ So you would be talking to
yourself — if there was a self. You are the source: ‘Out of the whole came the whole, and the
whole remains.’ You are not part of the source, you are the source — so how can you relate,
except by entering the illusion of duality. Of course the mind cannot understand this as the
mind can only handle the idea of duality. No duality, no mind.
“A couple of days ago, she came to my room (where I was working on the computer) and read
me aloud the description someone gave about what it is like for someone to open the 5th chakra,
and the description felt quite adequate for what I’ve been experiencing these past two years.”
There is no such thing as a 5th chakra — unless you want one. If you want there to be a 5th chakra
then there is — because you decide it to be so. You are the creator of your own reality. You can
have it anyway you want. There are different states of awakeness — to give them labels just cuddles
the feeling of insecurity.
“I’ve felt the “I” very much there, not gone at all. I still want recognition, I still feel proud when I’m very present or can talk about the wonderful things I’ve been through, I still want admiration, respect. And when information or presence are there, I still feel that “I’m special”, not that it is a gift or something that comes through.”
It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters — unless you want it to. The outline, the crust of the self is always there — that is what you use to get around in here. If you support, or resist it, it feels it has strength, it still feels as though ‘it is you.’ It is not, it is just your avoiding being the whole — which the mind says is death. It is — death to the illusion of separation. ‘Unless you die and be reborn.’ There is no rebirth because you are not born, and you never die. Just watch (and enjoy) that ‘self’ thinking it is somebody — like you watch a child when they are playing Superman.
“Yesterday night, in the middle of my dreams, I heard what I felt as a voice, saying “I take you where I want to” ˆstressing the last “I”, meaning there was a Higher Will, and that my struggles or what I want don’t matter much. It felt as if the Source itself was talking. Well, the feeling I got ˆof awe, respect- was strong enough to cathalize this letter. I’ve heard you lately talk about “how things are”, and I wonder if you mean “how the Source decides it to be”?”
Another part of you. There is only you. One part talking to the other — to keep things moving. That is the thing… movement, expansion — like the rest of the universe: expanding from nowhere to nowhere. Yes, it is how the source has it, and as you are the source, it is how you want it. You do create your own reality.
“The people of that little town seem mostly happy, relaxed, they greet each other, you say hello to the cashier and the person who weighs your fruit at the supermarket… you almost never hear a car’s honk.”
That is the way it is when we are more awake — how we already are in the future. We are all one family. On some level you have decided that is what you want, so you have got it. (There is a theory that when any situation gets over 150 people the relating starts to deteriorate.)
Keep remembering: No Complaint — just Gratefulness!
Sending you lots of love… paul