I know I have this reputation about relationships, but, as with many things, I haven’t really even started to talk about them. I keep saying the same thing over and over until it connects, then move on to the next level.
Back to a fundamental: we still do not realise that we see and experience things according to our conditioning — the values with which we have been brought up. Just assume — no matter how many times you have heard it; no matter how much you think you understand; you are not getting it. If you had got it you would be free — no fear, no judgement, of any sort.
We may see a woman who has been brought up as a Muslim with nothing showing but her eyes, and conclude that she is not free. The contrast is great enough for it to be what seems to us to be obvious. What we do not see is where we are also not free. The contrast is not great enough. We are not free. Just like the Muslim, our thinking and our actions have been shaped by the values with which we were brought up, or later adopted.
In some countries, if a woman goes out without Purda, and/or with out a chaperone she can be stoned to death — right there on the street. That is the way it is there with their conditioning.
In the West we have also have very restricting practises. Of course they do not seem restrictive to you because you have been brought with them. They are not so obvious, yet they are normal. The Muslim does not see it as abnormal either. That is just the way it is.
Your idea of how to live — what is right/wrong, good/bad, possible/impossible is hard-wired into your brain. And the conditioning is constantly being reinforced.
One thing to look at before we go on… it is quite possible that existence may not be experiencing things through our values. The Fakirs who sit, unwashed, in the streets of India may be intending to show that God does not see things in terms of duality — clean and dirty. Everything just is. Duality maybe something we have created. Of course there is another perspective as well — evolvement, but that is not a contradiction, it is paradox. Not either, or. More about that another time.
So the way you look at living has been put there by somebody, and that society takes it as not only normal, but the only right way. One man, one woman, for life — that is the Catholic way — unless you are a priest or a nun. One man, many monogamous women — that is the Muslim, and Mormon’s way. One man, one woman, and many other partners that is the way of some ethnic tribes, and Western communes. And so on.
This is the point to get: If you are a devote Catholic then you see your way as the only way — the others are sinners, and will condemned to everlasting hell. The fanatic Muslim has an equally violent, and more immediate solution to the situation. And each sees their way as right. The only right.
Next stage. One of the most effective ways to control people and get what you want from them is to make them frightened and guilty. Great methods for control. Not the prettiest, but very effective — for a while anyway.
One of the best ways to make a person frightened and guilty is to threaten them — if they do something they are not supposed to do they will be punished. You know — stoning to death, eternal hell, or life without chocolate.
The most efficient and effective way to manipulate is to forbid something that is essentially and forcefully natural — because it is not possible effectively suppress it. Therefore you are guilty and afraid, and have to go and confess — so as not to get stoned to death, go to hell, or have to struggle through life without chocolate.
Sex is natural, and inevitable. There is nothing you can do to make it go away. The Catholics have tried with their priests and nuns, and look at the mess they are in. And do you imagine that all Catholics only have sex when they want a baby, and not enjoy it when they do. Not any of the Catholics I know.
Sex is way, way beyond an addiction. It is natural. No matter what you do, there it is — nearly all of the time. Yet we have been programmed to deny it, to ignore it — except under impossible conditions. You have been programmed to see existence a certain way — that is not natural. All of you, whatever religion, or lack of.
Next thing. You may think you are beyond this conditioning. You are not. No one is unless they have gone beyond the mind and its conditioning. Even then, the mind, body and emotions are still effected. When you look at anything, or any situation, you look through your conditioning. So certain Muslims see a family as one man and many monogamous women. You see it your way.
Please get this — existence does not have a way. What is, is.
People often say, but what if we all do our own thing, what will happen. Please, please, take a look, can anything be worse than it is at the moment!
As an experiment, take a new look at life. See if you can disconnect from the past, and look, fresh, just as it is. Let go of your way of seeing things, and look again. No right, wrong; good, bad; allowed, not allowed; possible, not possible. Look, really look.
Next thing. What is a relationship. If we were commissioned to design an effective, joyful, harmonious way of being, would we have things the way they are now? Look, look for yourself. Without practical considerations, in your wildest fantasy… how would you have your life?
As sex is such a major part of our life, is it logical that one man or one woman is going to be fully satisfied with the same partner — until death us do part.? Yes, it is possible, but only when the participants are full sexually mature. Then they do not need sex at all! But that is another chapter.
Let’s all come together at 5:00pm tomorrow, Tuesday, and unconditionally open ourselves to whatever is appropriate. Let’s make space for what we would ordinarily call a miracle.
Sending love… p