Dearest,
Interesting that you read it as ‘being told what to do. ’ As you say, you know I don’t do that.
Everything is always an unconditional suggestion or request. Either way is always fine. It will
be that way for you soon — you are getting there already. Conditioned reactions do seem to
happen on their own don’t they, and they do — until you become aware and take responsibility
for them.
Sex is not different from anything else — except that it is the strongest drive, and we have more
restrictive conditioning around it than any other thing. And dying. Religion puts as much fear
into us as possible — so you can be controlled. It is very rare for anyone to get completely clear
of sexual conditioning, or the fear of death. Actually, it is easier to get clear of the fear of death
— living is much more scary. Sexual conditioning is crippling and the basis of perversion. It is neat
that the very source that conditions us against sex is the most judgmental about the resulting
sexual perversion! Almost everyone is sexually perverted, in mind, body and emotions whether
they are religious or not. It is in the air!
The sensation of sexual conditioning is so strong because it is a basic state of survival. There is no
way sexual energy can be neutrally suppressed. If it is denied it will take unpleasant consequences
on the body, mind and emotions. That is what we see with the catholic priests, gurus and monks.
It is one of the main sources of illness. Best to take care of it as soon as possible because if you
want to be completely free sexual conditioning has to be transcended. And eventually the sexual
drive itself. So getting clear of sexual conditioning is essential for being completely free. Once sex
is not that important, one way or the other, an unimaginable freedom is experienced. How to get
free of the sexual imbalance? Have lots of it — with the emphasis on awareness, not on temporary
release.
You say you feel sex is silly. In itself, it is. Mechanical. As an expression of love, intimacy and
energy it is divine. You say you feel resistance. As in all things, if there is pressure there will be
either compliance or resistance. Both will result in resentment. As in all things, balance is the
maximum potential. You can go gently into your difficulties with sex with someone you feel a
loving connection with. It is easy then because the sex is not the main priority. You can talk
about whatever is going on and you can share from that disturbed place. Essential for you, and
such intimacy can be a great delight for your partner. Freedom is the priority. Then nothing is
serious. About what is happening to you. When these ‘states’ happen the mind thinking
something is wrong is natural. To the mind something is wrong. Anything that is outside the
scope of the limited conditioning is seen as wrong.
Many people who have these opening experiences get into a panic thinking they are going mad.
In fact they are going sane. Confirmation is all that is needed, then a connection is made with
the new reality. Then you are ready for another stage. There seems always to be another stage.
Lovely.
We need as many people as possible to go into a new level — to be there for the people who are
now opening. There will be lots more. We are here to assist with that process. That is the priority
of us being here — and having fun of course.
I send you much love and support… paul